Have you ever heard someone say, “I said what I said?” Well, that simply means, I said it and I meant every word. I can remember back in the day we would hear people say, “Do as I say and not as I do”. Well, being a parent, I cannot agree totally with that saying because our kids do exactly what they see us do. That is how they learn. Therefore, we must be an example, whatever rolls off our tongue should also be exemplified in our actions. After all, actions speak louder than words, right?
Let’s be honest, we all have long days from time to time and sometimes we tend to lose our cool. In complete transparency, I had one of those days about a month or so ago. The day was winding down and we were preparing to sit at the dining room table for dinner. I checked my messages on my phone only to see a message from a gentleman that I had ordered a product from. I immediately picked up the phone and called the gentleman to discuss the situation. Well, he explained to me that I only had 3 edits and there was no more editing that could be done at this point and I would be receiving a partial refund. A partial refund with no product?!?! This was a waste of my time, energy and money. I explained that it was never disclosed to me that the number of edits were limited. I told him how this made me feel and he explained how he understood but at this point there was nothing else to be done. We ended the phone call cordially, but I felt an immediate conviction. Did you hear me? That is what happens when you know you are wrong, you feel convicted. By no means was I wrong for what I said because, ‘I said what I said’, but my tone and delivery was all wrong.
My daughter was sitting right there with me and I immediately knew that I had to correct the situation. She needs to know that her momma is human and makes mistakes, but she also needs to know that her momma knows how to correct the situation by apologizing and asking for forgiveness. So, what did I do? I picked the phone up and called the gentleman back, apologized for my tone and asked for his forgiveness. Yes, he accepted my apology and in turn apologized for not disclosing the number of edits for the product. Now, please understand I did not apologize for what I said or how I felt but I did apologize for my tone and delivery.
I by no means am perfect, nor do I claim to be but we as parents should live what we teach. This is one of the issues that I feel we have with some of our youth. Some may feel that we are hypocrites because we tend to act as though we have never done anything wrong, and we don’t understand what they are going through. Truth be told, we have been there and done that. Sometimes even done worse but just never got caught. We should be careful with how we handle them. Our kids are always watching and learning from us. So that saying, ‘Do as I say and not as I do’, doesn’t work for me.
This situation has taught me to be more careful in how I react. After all, it’s not what happens to us but how we react to what happens to us. Only if I had taken the time to go ahead eat dinner and then make that call. That would have given me time to think the situation through and act accordingly. I also know that all things happen for a reason. My daughter needs to know that I’m not perfect and I make mistakes but most importantly she has witnessed her momma make a mistake and fix it at the same time.
So, if you were perhaps wondering what happened with the product. After reviewing it and talking with my husband, I accepted the product and everyone that has seen it absolutely loved it. So, this situation could have been easily avoided. I take comfort in knowing that what I’m teaching my daughter, I strive to live everyday in front of her. This day was a teachable moment for us both. So let’s remember it is not WHAT you say but all about HOW you say it.